But that means I am no longer your professor. I am your professor/social worker. I am trying to determine your external needs -something I am not trained to do. And, if I determine that you need assistance with food or housing or that you are using your student loans to pay for your parents' rent, how do I talk to you about that? Do you even want me doing so?
What's the line between helping and prying?
Maybe that line is different for each student. For some students, they might feel what I am doing, trying to get involved in their lives outside of the classroom, is a invasion of their privacy. While other students might welcome the help because they do not know how to ask for help or who to turn to for help.
One thing I do know is that my job description in definitely changing. I noticed that several years ago when I identified my first homeless student and when I figured out that some of my students did not have enough nourishment because they lived in a food desert. So, I started to help where and when I could. I have not received any blow back. Nothing but thanks and gratitude so far.
But still, I do wonder what is the line between helping students to succeed in class by meeting their needs outside of class and prying into their personal lives. One of these days I might find out.
I believe that teachers should be concerned with their students’ outside lives—mostly extreme circumstances and some non-extreme. For example, if a student is financially struggling with school or is even having problems with their mental health, then the teacher should be there to offer support and even report it. When it comes to drawing the line between “helping and prying,” it should be acceptable for professors to look out for students—as long as the students’ problems interferes with the learning in the classroom or the students themselves. Just how professors are required to report any incidents of sex discrimination (Title IX), I feel like there is so much more that should be addressed, especially one’s external needs because it can have an impact on the other aspects of their lives. Most importantly, the students should be the one to decide whether they want to receive help when it comes to their external needs. I support the idea of professors offering some reassurance by mentioning certain on or off-campus problems, and for the students to freely approach them with their concerns. Simply put, in my opinion, the line between “helping and prying” is all about the student’s consent.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this immensely. It is ultimately the student's choice on whether he would need help from professors outside of the classroom. The responsibility is on the student. Although there may be times that a professor have to present all possible assistance for the problem at hand, the action is always put on the student.
DeleteIt is an objective opinion on whether a professor is prying or helping depending on the situation.
After reading this blog, I felt a sense of relief knowing students attend a college where professors care about you as a whole. No,it is not prying,it is called helping. Since mental health issues are widespread around the world today,a professor should consider prying a number one priority. There are many students experiencing overwhelming anxiety and are to depressed to function. While many do not seek help it can have an impact on their academic performance.It is good to know professors are passionate in their commitment to make sure students in the college community are respected,heard and successful. Most professors are in positions to notice ordinary stresses to deep emotional psychology troubles and willing to connect students to the help they need. The question is whether a professor is "prying or helping," the answer is no. What is really being done,they are promoting the student's ability to develop socially,emotionally and academically.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100%. I have worked in healthcare for the past 11 years and the number of people seen annually for depression and anxiety stemming from personal relationships or life circumstances is on a steady incline. Is is noble for a professor to want to intervene and provide resources to their students who may be dealing with deep issues because they feel there is no resolution. Not knowing where you are going to sleep, what you will eat or needing someone to talk to can be an unbearable weight for anyone.
DeleteOn the other hand, there are also good reasons why professors should not pry into students' mental health issues. First, professors are overburdened and cannot easily add this to their other duties. Second, students expect a degree of privacy. Finally, there are other tools to address students' mental health issues, such as counseling and student programs.
DeleteI believe that it can be helpful for teachers to try to observe and understand the behavior of all their students when they are in class; looking for anything that may lead them to believe that their student is in need of assistance that either they or the school is able to provide so that the student may perform more efficiently in the classroom. Whether its something as small as distancing themselves from class projects and situations or as big as a dramatic drop in grades and becoming absent from class. Teachers should not feel as though they are prying when they genuinely notice something may be affecting their students’ life. Anything abnormal that a teacher notices about a students’ behavior should be taken care of delicately though as to not offend the student in any way. For example, if you notice that a student is suddenly becoming inattentive in class or has been missing from class too often, you should approach them as you would any student and let them know that you are there to help them in any way that you can. If they do decide to tell you exactly what they are having trouble with, then lay out all the options that they have and report it to the school if it’s something that you know the district can take care of. No teacher should be nervous or unsure of how to handle a situation that calls for their intervention on behalf of the school. As I’ve heard it said many times before: “teachers are human beings and have lives too” the same is true for students as well. We are so used to being in class teaching or learning that we may sometimes forget to give each other our attention when it’s something not pertaining to class. Don’t be hesitant to pry when you get a sense something might be wrong because it can ultimately help the student in and out of the classroom.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of what you are saying. I do feel as if there are behaviors that catches the professor's attention they should address it in a non offensive way. Just addressing it and letting the student know they have support/help if needed sometimes is all the help one needs. I met a girl in summer school one year who had ADHD and was also diagnosed with depression. I never would have guessed she had either of these conditions but our teacher had noticed some things that were kinda off. She would normally come in very excited loud, and early to class. The last week of summer school she started showing up very late, wasn't talking much, falling asleep in class, and also very short tempered. One day when class ended he pulled her aside and asked if she was okay. As soon as he hit her with that question, she fell to the ground and started crying hard. This is when she had told both the professor and i what she was diagnosed with and also some very traumatic events that she was going through at that time. Our teacher reassured her that things would be okay and he could contact the school counselor to get further help. She took the help and saw a great improvement in her grades and personality. She ended up passing the class and got the credit for it. She got into Texas State University and is now majoring in social work. This is an example of how teachers/ professors can help. This is not prying this is just letting a person in need know that they always have someone. Sometimes the only person they have could be a teacher/ professor. Were all humans and we all go through tough times, some handle it better than others, Teacher or student.
DeletePrying and helping are two very different things. Prying is getting too close to a person's private life. Helping is making it easier for someone to do something by offering one's services and resources. Personally, I agree that teachers should help in any way they can. One way to do so , is advertising your services on how you can help a student without feeling like you may be prying. Remind students that you are willing to help in anyway you can. Another way is by giving off a positive energy. For example, if you are welcoming and easy to talk to students will not hesitate to come to you for help. Now if you are negative and just mean than students may not want to approach you about personal stuff. I also believe it shouldn't all be put on teachers to help a student. As a college everyone should work together on helping students as best as they can. Counselors take a huge role on helping students. I feel that they should go the extra mile to help students and not just limit themselves to what the college is providing. I can't stress enough how important it is to advertise all the services and resources the college and teachers are providing.
ReplyDeleteWhen a person has good intentions and decides to act on it they must be careful on how much of a step they are taking. Some people are more defensive and have barriers put up so someone trying to give a helping hand might be seen as over stepping to them. On the other hand, there is people who so desperately need even a small gesture to give them some ease. In a teacher – student relationship things get trickier because even if a student is off standish sometimes the teacher needs to act in order for the student to succeed and if a student is giving a cry for help a teacher still need to make sure there is boundaries put up. However, in my opinion a teacher is a human first as well as a student so if we see someone struggling and we have the ability to help them with no harm, then why should we not? As long as the student accepts the help then the teacher is not prying but doing the morally correct thing, which is helping.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on the student and how they accept it. There will be people that will need help outside of the classroom but they won't mention it to you at first. When looking at a professor the student will be ready for the class and finishing it as a regular student and teacher relationship would work some just don't care and just teach until the class is over but there a couple of professors that would go above and beyond. If the professors see a change in the student whether they looked injured, depressed, stressed, etc. they would try and see what's wrong with them and hope he would change. Working together is the key to anything especially in class. I don't think there is a line between helping and prying both are trying to help the individual succeed in class and in their outside lives. As long as the professor helping them and shows some prying to the student and see a change in the students' grades then the professor has accomplished his role.
ReplyDeleteI have never had any teacher try to get involved in my life outside of the classroom. Past casual small talk none of my professors have ever tried to get to know any of the students. I always thought that that was strange, because at my old school the teachers were part of the community and we could talk to them about problems outside of the classroom. I did not know that teachers worried about whether they were invading a student’s privacy or not until I read your post. Now, it makes sense that the teachers at my new school are staying out of the personal lives of the students. I think that a little discussion with each student, and then helping the ones that need it like you did, is good for a teacher to do. It might not be their responsibility as a teacher, but it makes the students respect you more and know that they can come to you for help if they need it.
ReplyDeleteIt is important to encourage open discussion in the classroom. Often, students are afraid to open up because they fear being judged by their peers or professor. For many, this fear lasts past high school and into college. To open up, students need the support of their classmates, professors, and counseling services, if available.
DeleteAssuming that you want your students to pass your class; you may be inclined to help them if they are having trouble in class. However, there are some student who need help outside of those classroom doors. Thankfully you care enough to offer your help on the first day, and that can be enough for someone to ask for help. Moreover, helping is assisting someone who cannot do a task by themselves. On the other hand, prying is being too invasive in someone’s life. If you believe that a student needs help, but they reject your help the first time I think you should not try again. After all your students are adults and they can make their own decisions.
ReplyDeleteEvery person has a different perspective and everyone has a different way of taking things. For example, there's always going to be a person that might need a hand and sometimes we don’t know how to approach them without them feeling like we are over stepping in to their personal life. There's a big difference between helping and prying. For me, helping is when you're going to give someone a hand and just show support in what they might need help with. In my opinion prying is over stepping into their personal life and for someone to keep just digging into their privacy. I know sometimes when people accept your help they open up because they might open up about their personal problems but that's not being prying because they are telling you and it’s coming from their part. Also, I find it wonderful how sometimes our teachers try to be a teacher but also a friend to students. Theres teachers that have said that teaching its not their only job if not also be there for their students ands show support any way they can. I truly appreciate that because there is students that have it harder then others and struggle but sometimes we students tend to not seek for help because either we are shy or we just don’t feel like they might care or also we just don’t want to involve them into their situation they are in. When a teacher is trying to go a little deeper into the problem it’s not be prying person but to know what’s really going on so when ever they help, they know where to help exactly. Lastly, teachers are there to help not to just be nosy or get you into deeper trouble. Help for me is giving a hand and just be there for that person while prying is just being nosy and just wants to know deeper into their personal life without that person telling you or mentioning relative topics.
ReplyDeleteIn recent years, college attendance consists mostly of young students straight out of high school and working adults who are simultaneously going to school to obtain their degree. The level of learning and even responsibility is uniquely different. I am aware that student resources are available for things like tuition assistance and tutoring. But when it comes to further support that might be of help to the students, the question is, who is more likely to give directions to that route?
ReplyDeleteAs an adult student, I have had a full-time job before even beginning my path to obtaining a degree. And I pretty much have to figure it out for myself because I found that counselors are not adept to 'prying' to provide more assistance. If you don't have the questions, they will not encourage you to ask more to help you further.
Professors are there to provide you with knowledge about a specific subject, and they provide you with what you need to succeed in the class. I do not expect my professors to act as a counselor, or as mentioned in the post, a social worker. These are two different job descriptions.
In my previous classes, I would say that most professors are keen to say in some announcement or even in the syllabus to contact them in any case. The student has the sole responsibility for finding the appropriate resource for them. Some professors are experienced enough to identify whether a student requires other resources like housing and financial assistance to combat food insecurity. These professors cannot be defined as prying because most are only offering help to assist in the student's success.
As a student, I feel that professors who take their time to help are much appreciated. It is rare for help to be turned down if it is genuinely needed.
I believe helping others is a way to help ourselves. Helping a friend, family, a neighbor, or even a stranger does not necessarily mean fixing their car, or buying them lunch. Helping a fellow student who seems a bit confused in some instruction could be as simple as waving or smiling when walking past them and it gives you more confidence in the topic. Helping a classmate could be a small thing such as listening to their problems, offering support and advice, and walking them through an otherwise hard time. Honestly, a person can help another without realizing helping is what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteI am soon going into the medical field to become a doctor. I chose this field in order to make the most out of helping people. I would be able to save someone’s life and in turn heal a family’s anguish. Besides healing others, I can deliver a child and make a family come together despite their differences and celebrate the joy of a newborn. I can in turn use my knowledge to discover a cure for cancer or lupus, thus helping many families realize there is still hope. Mostly, however, I would be helping myself in knowing that I have helped so many people for one small act of kindness. I hope that my belief will have a lasting effect on those who read it, and that you too will see the joy in helping others and do the same - Chinyelu Okoye
It is true that everyone has a different version of where the line between prying and helping lies. Even with good intentions, if the person receiving the offered help does not want it, it may do more harm than good. It can cause the person to draw away and when help, to a degree is needed, they may be less likely to accept the offer. Everyone has a degree of due diligence to offer help to their fellow man, especially when they are in a position to help. This is the case of most professors, in that they might know of ways to personally improve a student's life. The best way to properly direct the effort to help another person is to consider what is offered and how it is offered. Getting to know students can be difficult because forming a trusting relationship is complicated and affected by many factors. To avoid this predicament, the faculty needs to be easy to contact and willing to let the student control how far the conversation, assistance, or involvement goes. When a faculty reaches out to someone they think might need some assistance and the student does not respond or responds with rejection, it might be best to let the student know the desire to help still stands and they are welcome to talk at a later time. This avoids prying while encouraging the student to accept the assistance or seek it out when it is needed, if the faculty’s guess was incorrect. From the student’s perspective, being understanding of the faculty's good intentions or giving the faculty the benefit of the doubt improves the effectiveness of attempting to help whether it is perceived as helping or prying.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion of this subject “Prying vs Helping”, I think there is a fine line. I state this because in certain communities telling a teacher or anyone not in your immediate family about problems at home can be considered a breach of trust or a violation of your family’s privacy. I believe it is an awesome thing when someone can or will go beyond a job title to help the next person out especially if it’s a teacher noticing a student in trouble. As a college student myself and not being originally from Houston. I have been in situations where I was struggling while attempting to continue my education due to financial reasons or trying to find a new place to live not having any family and trying to adapt in a completely new state was very stressful, this would eventually be one of the reasons for me failing classes. I didn’t want someone knowing I was struggling because I was afraid of judgement and also because my family was never the type of family that broadcasted our struggles. We did what we had to do to overcome that particular obstacle. In the end I think it is not prying if a professor notices something off about a student and at least attempted to help or let them know that help is available if they feel like their privacy is being invaded.
ReplyDeleteAnother point of view of this is does the professor feel they should go the extra step in helping students? As they signed up to educate not find shelter of resources for food or money. Do professors feel comfortable asking a student their personal business. What if s professor was in a situation and a student noticed? Would the same rules apply? Should we notify someone or attempt to provide aid to that professor? I say if you notice someone in need offer assistance if they decline at least provide information for them to use later if they should so choose.
The fundamental debate lying underneath this question is the ages old battle between freedom and safety. The freedom to do whatever you want, with the risk of failure, or the safety of never failing, but not being able to do what you want.
ReplyDeleteIn this case safety is represented as professors being social workers, helping their students deal with their problems outside the classroom so that they can learn better. Now although this sounds good, there are certain problems that arrive out of this situation. The first problem is obviously the abuse of power. Power corrupts, and the ability to ask someone personal questions and get true responses back is incredibly corrupting. Even now, we hear stories about teachers abusing the power that they already have, such as giving students bad grades and not notifying them of rule changes. If these malicious teachers would also get the ability to ask students about their personal life, results could be terrifying. Another problem that arises is that professors are not meant to deal with these kinds of tasks. They are trained in a highly specific field that leaves little to no room for diversification. To add to that, most professors are middle-aged or older. It is common knowledge that the ability to learn generally degrades over time, and so the ability of most professors to learn a new trade would probably be severely hampered, causing them to either be poor at their job as a social worker or not do it at all. Finally, the last major problem is that even if professors are capable of being both good teachers and good Samaritans, how does one manage both jobs? They are both highly demanding jobs, and if you have multiple classes, dozens of ungraded homeworks, and ten people who need counseling about their financial situation or housing problems, the probability that you do all of those tasks successfully is small at best.
This is why freedom is the best option. It does not sound as good because that means that if you fail, the responsibility is on you, not your professor. After all, the professors job is simply to present information. It is your responsibility to make sure that you learn and understand it.
However, if you succeed, then all of the glory belongs to you. There is no one else who can say that they need some of the applause because you made it through college by yourself. Most people who go to college are young and have not experienced the world yet. College is supposed to help ease them into adulthood, and forcing people to accept responsibilities is one of the tried and true methods that works.
The fundamental debate lying underneath this question is the ages old battle between freedom and safety. The freedom to do whatever you want, with the risk of failure, or the safety of never failing, but not being able to do what you want.
ReplyDeleteIn this case safety is represented as professors being social workers, helping their students deal with their problems outside the classroom so that they can learn better. Now although this sounds good, there are certain problems that arrive out of this situation. The first problem is obviously the abuse of power. Power corrupts, and the ability to ask someone personal questions and get true responses back is incredibly corrupting. Even now, we hear stories about teachers abusing the power that they already have, such as giving students bad grades and not notifying them of rule changes. If these malicious teachers would also get the ability to ask students about their personal life, results could be terrifying. Another problem that arises is that professors are not meant to deal with these kinds of tasks. They are trained in a highly specific field that leaves little to no room for diversification. To add to that, most professors are middle-aged or older. It is common knowledge that the ability to learn generally degrades over time, and so the ability of most professors to learn a new trade would probably be severely hampered, causing them to either be poor at their job as a social worker or not do it at all. Finally, the last major problem is that even if professors are capable of being both good teachers and good Samaritans, how does one manage both jobs? They are both highly demanding jobs, and if you have multiple classes, dozens of ungraded homework, and ten people who need counseling about their financial situation or housing problems, the probability that you do all of those tasks successfully is small at best.
This is why freedom is the best option. It does not sound as good because that means that if you fail, the responsibility is on you, not your professor. After all, the professor’s job is simply to present information. It is your responsibility to make sure that you learn and understand it. However, if you succeed, then all of the glory belongs to you. There is no one else who can say that they need some of the applause because you made it through college by yourself.
I believe that the "line" shouldn't be an obstacle that prevents professors, that are willing to help students, to help out. There are very few professors that would help out students with there situation outside the classroom, and so I think that they should offer their help to student even if the student doesn’t want. At least they know they have somewhere to go if they do end up wanting the help.
ReplyDeleteI agree, there shouldn't be a "line" that prevents professors from helping humanity because there are many professors that wouldn't care about a student's well-being. Like you stated, I think the professor should at least try one time, then leave it to the student to accept the help or not.
DeleteI think the line between prying and helping is purely placed upon the person that may or may not need the help, and how they receive the offering. People have different reasons for not wanting someone to be in their business like the post-traumatic stress of a situation, or the memory it may bring back to consciousness. I had to make the decision whether my mother lived or passed while she was suffering with cancer, I was only 21 years old and I felt my family should’ve been more supportive at the time. So, I would only accept advice from strangers or the people who knew the least of my business because they had no personal attachment to me, therefore no reason to lie or show empty remorse for my situation. So the line is based on the person’s perspective of your help, but there shouldn’t even be a discussion about prying when a person needs help, most of the time it’s the person’s ego that won’t allow it to happen.
ReplyDeleteThere is a fine line in the involvement of people outside the immediate family when it comes to helping them through their situation. The student may reject the help offered or won’t ask for assistance due to being afraid of their crisis spreading out through the school and may keep their problems to themselves because they believe and/or can come from the situation they are in. However, there shouldn’t be a barrier of what the professor can do to help. The professor should be able to offer help but if the student refuses the help and insists the professor to stop then it is only right for the professor to acknowledge their decision. They aren’t obligated to help but if wanted to then professors have the right to do so.
ReplyDeleteThe line between prying and helping might actually be dependent on who it is that you happen to ask. Like so many things in life at the moment everything is based on perception. On one hand you could have a person or student that is desperate for a little bit of help but can't bring himself to ask for it or you could end up with a student that might be a little salty about the hand that life has unfortunately dealt him and because of so has an elevated sense of pride and is almost offended that someone might actually want to give him a hand. This is one of the unknown variables when considering the prying and helping situation and the other might be the motives, what might drive someone to "help." Either way as long as it is coming from a good and genuine place no one can blame another human being for being compassionate enough to see someone in need and actually take the initiative to try and do something about it for them.
ReplyDeleteI agree, the way people are brought up do happen to affect their perception of the world and it's situations so as you said some might have an elevated sense of pride.
DeleteThe true question that should be asked is “would you want someone to help you or your child?" What is the definition of Prying? Excessively interested in a person’s private affairs; too inquisitive. What is the definition of helping? Giving aid, assistance, support, or the like. So, with those meanings discussed I conclude that it is all in the perspective and maturity of the person you are trying to assist. Some people are more reserved and don’t like to ask for help for pride or fear of showing weakness. I encountered this when I was a manager for a company and had to have a one on one with an employee who was not performing to the company goals. I sat this employee down and discussed her performance. Before the end of our discussion, I went on to say, “I am not only your Boss, but I am here if you need to talk." This employee started crying. See I had observed her demeanor change and I wondered why but I feared asking because I didn’t want to seem I was stepping out of line. She went on to explain that she had kids and her teenage daughter was having a court and she was dealing with legal issues. I comforted her and went on to allow her to vent the struggles she was going through in her life. Why did I care? Not only did I want my employee to succeed, but I also had allowed myself to see her as more than just an employee number I had to manage. By allowing myself to have a more profound connection with her allowed her to resolve her issues and her manage to bring her performance up. At the end of the day, my thought is why not help another person you see struggling. Not only can you save a person’s life but put yourself in their shoes.
ReplyDeleteI have always been in an environment where things change and move really fast. For example, working in retail can be very stressful and one can feel pressed as all they hear is orders being barked at them. That kind of environment can cause alot of stress because people do not seem to care what you are going through all they want to know is if the job is done. When I go to school, it is a different experience because there are a wonderful staff who try to meet your needs and I personally welcome the help. I would not see it as prying because alot of people know their place and what I mean by that is that they know when too far is too far. Students do need their space but it is seen to be more helpful than anything. I think the environment of the school would be better if people did not see it as "prying". People need to open up because there are a number of professors that are willing to offer support. You really can offer more than you need to if you just listened to a persons day.
DeleteThere is a fine line between what is considered appropriate for a professor to ask a student, and between prying. In order to maintain a level of respect, the professor should not ask more than what the student wants them to know. However, this does not mean that a professor should not offer their help to a student; this is advisable. Once the student is aware that they have a trustworthy source to rely on, it is entirely up to them to decide if they want to take the professor's help and share the tale of their burden with them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping a student with a private issue, as long as it is done respectfully; boundaries must be followed.
ReplyDeleteYeah boundaries are a big thing and are important in order for the student to open up as well. There can be professors that ask inappropriate questions and leave their students feeling uncomfortable.
DeleteIn my opinion, prying and helping go together because when you want to help somebody, you need to pry about it. Students won’t ask professors for helping if professors don’t hit their problem. This is a normal things students usually do. They don’t share with anybody or they can not find someone they believe and give them the advice. They repress the anxiety in the mind and impact on their academic performance. Mental health issues are widespread around the world today. And the biggest reasons come from money. Students want to work to take care of themselves, to pay the tuition, to buy everything they want. However, it becomes their concern when they can not find a job, something happens with their job and plus the stresses at school. Day by day, it becomes bigger and bigger and they feel there is no solution. It is noble for a professor to want to intervene and provide resources to their students who may be dealing with deep issues because they know professors will give them the advice and find a solution to help them. Specially, when students seek professors for helping, it means they are really need to help, they open their heard to talk and share with you because they believe you will help them to get through the problem.
ReplyDeleteThere is significant difference between helping and prying when trying to assist someone in need. Helping is an act of aiding or assisting someone who is seeking help. For instance, as a professor you notice a student that shows full potential, but they are always late to your class. It’s okay to ask the student why they are always late because it not only disrupts your class, but you are concerned. Maybe they don’t have a car and walk to school. As faculty you can direct students to the college’s information desk for information on bus services in the area. Prying is a being excessively interested and persistent in a person’s private life and is forceful. For example, there may be a student that displays barriers between their student life and personal life. You can show your concern and direct them to the colleges counseling office, where they are trained and have the resources to provide to students. Helping a student on a personal level can be daunting and there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Consider the movie “Dangerous Minds” played by Michelle Pfeiffer. Pfeiffer plays the role of a teacher and a former Marine named Louanne Johnson who gets too involved with her underachieving students’ lives. Ms. Johnson pries to the point that she offers her home as a safe house to one student at risk of being killed by a neighborhood gang. That student gets killed either way. Ms. Johnson idea of helping is the line that should never be crossed. I think it’s okay to approach the student with the intent of being concerned and wanting to offer help and guidance but it’s not okay to pry.
ReplyDeleteTeachers play an important role in our everyday life. They help us improve ,society and community by contributing their knowledge .There is a decent percentage of teachers who are willing to communicate with their students not to be pry ,but grow a relationship with their students. If you make a student feel welcome they will speak up because you’re making them feel like someone they can trust if you don't make them feel welcome the student will act distance and feel like you're on their business when all you want to do is help them out . While most of us fantasize about reality TV stars and pro athletes,teachers are among the fewer people who truly affect our lives in direct and positive ways . A teacher makes a difference in 3,000 children over the course of their career . Is not always easy to change a student’s life, which is why it takes a great teacher to do so. Even if teachers ask students “how are you doing today” can make their day better most students don’t get asked a simple gesture can make a student trust you also understand them when they’re having a bad day. Always appreciate the good teachers .
ReplyDeleteThere is a line that crosses between helping a student outside of class and prying into their personal lives. For instance, a professor is not required to know everything about their students in the class. Such as knowing what they do after school and where they go to work, that would be considered prying into their everyday lives. It is not professional like because a student wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about themselves or even their own problems with somebody they hardly know. But a professor is more than likely, the first one to notice when a student is behaving differently in a class based on their behavior or by their appearance such as looking tired, angry or upset. For example, when I read the “Housing Insecurity” in “Dr JRN's Office Hours” and read about that girl in class, wearing the same clothes for weeks and for the professor to notice this and find out that one of his students is indeed fact homeless was troubling news. In reality, some students out there, do need help but are sometimes too afraid or embarrassed to ask. Everybody comes across problems in their lives. For example, one student is probably dealing with the hardships of becoming a parent while still going to college to earn a degree. Another student has missed a week of class because a close relative had recently passed away in an accident. And another student who struggles daily to help a close family member battle a drug addiction. Many of these students face problems that seem unnoticed to other people, which can really affect them in their schoolwork. For instance, worrying about their problems can make it hard for students to concentrate in class, finish their assignments and studying for an upcoming exam. Sometimes speaking with the professor is good because they can give students great insight into their problems and give them advice. Some professors may have even dealt with the same situations that others are facing and can really give great advice to overcoming their situations.
ReplyDeleteThere is a line that crosses helping a student when it comes down to their personal lives. They are certain things that can and cannot be asked. If the student feels comfortable talking about the situation then it’s okay. But I believe that a lot depends on how the professor reaches out to the student. If the professor communicates well with the student, there is a high chance that the student will open up. There are a few professors that would help a student out. But in most cases the students that are going through a difficult time, usually stay quiet and never reach out for help because they are afraid of telling others what they are going through because they fair to be judged. I must admit that all of my professor has done an amazing job with letting us know that if we ever need help to reach out to them. With that being said, I believe the professor’s have done their job by getting their word out and it depends on the student to reach out.
ReplyDeleteWanting to be interested in your student’s outside lives can tend to be a good thing. You give the comfort of your students knowing that you’re open to talk to them if they need to. You may sense that something may be off with a student, and you may ask them if they are feeling or doing okay, which is okay. It gives the student a sense of helpfulness or mindfulness that you’re making sure that they’re okay. If they tend to say “fine”, “okay”, or something of the sort. Its best to leave the situation alone, because it then turns into seeming that you want to pry into their lives. Extensively asking them what wrong would give the student discomfort, because to them it may be personal, and/or have trouble speaking to others about the situation. You also state that you’re not trained in determining if a student may need assistance. HCC (Houston Community College), and many other colleges/universities provide counselors and advisors that are trained in these certain situations. So, if you tend to want to help them. You could always advise them to seek help from a counselor or advisor without tending to come off as if you’re trying to inquire in their personal life .
ReplyDeleteThere is a line between helping students to succeed in class by meeting their needs outside of class and prying into their personal lives. I believe there could be professional boundaries between a student and a professor. If a student is comfortable with reaching out to their professors for help and they are capable and willing to somehow make their lives a little more manageable so their student and can help with succeeding in their classes, there shouldn’t be an issue. The only time a professor could be prying into a student’s personal lives is with getting involved in a student’s life without their consent. That doesn’t mean a professor can’t ask their students if their “okay” but even if you know something is wrong and the student chooses not to share, then as the professor you can always assure them that you are there to guide them and let them decided if they need your guidance or not without choosing for them.
ReplyDeleteThere is a line between prying and helping.There should always be boundaries that should not be crossed as a professor such as getting too deep into someones personal life when that happens now you are becoming their friend which is on a different level than a professor.However, there is nothing wrong with wanting to help out a student to ensure they succeed.I do not think there is anything wrong with helping guide a student or even just lending an ear.
ReplyDeleteBeing a college student you experience a lot of different obstacles. I think the line between prying and helping is based on individual that may be in need of help or not. Most people aren’t comfortable letting people they don’t know into the circle of conformance. Example my great grandmother was in a two car accident. Since I moved to Texas to take care of my great mother it was my responsibility to make sure that she made it to all of her doctor's appointments and her therapy due to the accident. My professors at the time was not compassionate enough to understand or wanted to understand the situation I was dealing with. I strongly think that if I did have professors that was willing to or cared I would’ve gotten through the semester. My mother is a teacher. She always tells me being able to form some type of communication boundary with your professors will help you out in the long run. Having some type of trust when life happens you'll be comfortable enough to inform your professors. So it's based on if you are willing to open up and receive help from someone on the outside.
ReplyDeleteI find it very refreshing to know that there are still educators out there that are still willing to get involved in a student’s life and try to help when they find there maybe a serious need. I feel like as a society we have all become so fearful of what could happen if we do get involved. Could there be a negative effect? Also, today in the world of so much technology there are many people who do not have the time, nor do they even notice anyone else’s problems other than their own and their immediate family members.
ReplyDeleteTo even have a face to face conversation with someone without someone checking their phone rarely happens. When it comes to "Prying or Helping" I think that if we don't reach out to people on a human level when you see an issue then what are we really here for.
The world would be a much better place if people stayed out of the shadows and stepped up to plate. You could be the one to change that person’s life for the better or maybe not, but you will only know if you put in the effort. I think we all will one day come to a point in our lives where we may need help in one capacity or another.
I think turning your shoulder to a student in need would be the true disservice. Even if you pointed them in the direction of the right resources that is doing something. It is true you can't save the world, but you can make it a little better. Now I do believe that if a person that seems to be in need and you reach out to them and they don’t want any assistance then stepping back is always best unless of course someone’s life is in danger. Some people are very private and prideful and do not ever ask nor do they want help even in the toughest of situations.
During my junior and senior year of high school, I had an educator help me get my life back together. My living situation at the time was so toxic that it stunted my personal development and affected my academics greatly. The only person who said they were concerned while also taking action upon those concerns was my physics teacher. She approached me and asked if I was okay or if I needed any help. Before that I didn’t think I needed help with anything and that I was perfectly fine. Once I was confronted, the realization that everything was wrong in my life hit me all at once. From then on, we worked 1 on 1 to get me back to where I was before.
ReplyDeleteI never thought she was prying. I knew she genuinely wanted to help me. It never felt like she was digging for details that happened behind the scenes. Even though she wasn’t trained to take on this position, she knew what questions to ask to get me to talk about what was going on and it never felt forced.
The thing about helping others is that you can’t really do anything unless they want to be helped. Finding the difference between helping and prying all depends on the person and how comfortable they are with letting others into their life.
Prying and helping are two completely different concepts where people can be confused from one to another. I am understood that fulfilling a teacher’s mission is difficult when the teacher tries to balancing between the lecture in class and student’s issues. In my opinion, the helping outside of the classroom is comes from the loving between teachers and students because they expect that their students will receive the best conditions such as food, shelter, etc. to be able to study well and be successful. For example, when you walk on the road, you meet an unhappy person, do you feel lamentable? That is a love from between people. Also, students are a member of the big house from school, which teaches us how to be a human. So, trying to get involved in student lives outside of the classroom which is not an invasion of their privacy, it is a love of teacher. Prying occurs when you outraged over student feelings. I believe that you want to help your students there is nothing wrong. Life is easier if we share and care together. The relationship between teachers and students will become closer when we understand and share each other any issues inside and outside classroom.
ReplyDeleteYou can help a student be successful without looking into their personal life – giving extensions to classwork throughout the semester, but that will be less effective than helping while knowing what is going on in their personal life – knowing why the person needs an extension and helping so they no longer have that obstacle and can turn in work on time. Working in groups has taught me that in order for the group to be successful then sometimes having insight into another person’s personal life is essential into helping them complete their share of the work or to help get them the material that is needed for them to be a successful member of the group. I had a student in one group who could not get access to the required material needed for the writing assignment. If the person’s economic status was not known, it would have been assumed that the person was just being a slacker and refused to participate. The student was open about the situation when asked if the material could be produced and stated the reason why the book could not be acquired. The person was helped when they shared insight into their life and became an asset to group. It also gave the student one less thing to worry about. In my experience, you can not successfully help without prying. Knowing someone’s private affairs gives a clearer understanding to what they need to be successful.
ReplyDeleteI find that there is a fine line between prying and helping. But if the student does not mind the help from the teacher then it fine. I think that it's a good thing that you are not only willing to listen to our problems but offer some of your time to help us out. I feel like if you want to help a student then you need to pry into their private life. For example if a student does not seem to be coming into class or seems to be deprived then you should ask him about how is it going in his life in order for you to make an accurate assumption to explain why the student is missing days or not doing well in class. I had a teacher in high school that was enthusiastic about teaching and was always willing to help students. For example, if they had troubles getting to school, he would offer to pick them up in the morning to take them to school or if they were having trouble at home then he would talk to the students' parents. He was willing to help his students not only in school but outside of school. I think that it's totally fine for teachers pry into their student's life if they don’t mind it or asked for help. So, over all I feel like it’s a good thing that teacher is now wanting to help their students not only as a teacher but as a friend.
ReplyDeleteI agree that when the student accepts help from teachers and doesn’t mind, then prying is acceptable because the student is allowing it. However, prying info a student person live may go beyond the boundaries on a professional level. I agree that are some teachers that look out for students such as picking them up for school and dropping them off at home as the student allows this, but it may not be appropriate on a professional level as others adults or teachers may view this situation that can possibly cause issues.
DeleteLike you stated, the difference between prying and helping is based off the student. As a student, if I had a teacher that noticed when I was struggling and tried to help, I would’ve been so grateful. I am failing 3 out of 5 classes right now because, well, life. I work 55+ hours a week, I am a mom of three, and have a household to run. I would be appreciative to have a teacher who noticed that I was off my game and who tried to help me get back on path. I like having a teacher that notices their students and tries to help, because that shows me that you truly care about your students and their well-being and you are not just there to collect a paycheck. But that’s just me. Some students may find your help as prying if they are not open with their struggles or comfortable speaking to a teacher about them.
ReplyDeleteIn definition, prying and helping are absolutely different. However, in this situation, the line between prying and helping become unclearly, due to how they think and react of our question. Because the problem outside the classroom directly affect to quality of one’s performance in school, it is a difficult obstacle that can affect badly to student life. On the other hand, as if we were faculty or staff of a higher education, we should ask to help our student. The different between prying and helping will obviously appear through our questions to students. If we ask them as gentle as possible, with a considerable appearance, the student will understand that we only want to help. Even if they think we are prying on them, as least we know that we have tried to assist them. We didn’t lose anything, moreover, it created opportunities for them to share with us about difficulties in their lives. The difficult outside the classroom of students, not only affect to their studying, but also create negative feelings and put them under a lot of pressures. It is why it is important to help them reducing this kind of stress.
ReplyDeleteIn Viet Nam, students meet troubles in their life, as lack of food or shelter, which directly affects them in school. They start to play truant, quick homework and schooldays. Because school education is a long-term process, which require a lot of money and time. A lot of students, then, drop school. It affects badly to quality and quantity of education in Viet Nam. It supports the significant of assistance from professor and faculties in higher education.
Some students are scared of asking for help, so it is better that faculties actively ask them about this sensitive problem. We can not define clearly the line between prying and helping; however, it should not stop us from helping student to reduce their problem outside of classroom.
Prying or helping all depends on how the student decides to take it. They could most definitely be financially stable, and you could have gotten the wrong idea and went up to them and assumed that they have no help at all. But at the same time no one can blame you because you are just trying to help and it is the best part of you reaching out. I know someone who does need help will not come up to you and say so. Maybe because of embarrassment or they could just be ashamed. And if they do not end up reaching out, you could just miss the sign. You would not to be to blame for because like I said you are just trying to HELP. It would honestly depend on how the student takes it. Everyone is different and we all take things differently, the student would just have to understand that you are trying to help. As a student myself I would not go up to a teacher if I had a problem or if anything was going on. Why? Because it was never open for me to do that with other teachers I have had in the past. KIPP conducted a survey in 2016 with its graduates and alumni. It stated that nearly 60% of students needed more than academic support. And that those 60% worried about running out of food. 43% missed meals to pay for books, tuition and etcetera. After seeing this survey, I really and truly do not blame you for trying to reach out to students and helping.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, there is a line between helping and prying into students personal lives as you can only reach out so much for them to accept your help rather than forcing the issue which results in involving yourself in a bad situation with the student. For instance, you may reach out to a student that you know needs the help but they refuse everytime. You never know how deep a person may be in a situation until you involve yourself in which you may put yourself in a bad situation. For example, you may see that a student may be in an abusive relationship or home in which they may have visible bruising's. As a teacher you are concerned about your student, so you question them to ensure everything is fine and that they can reach out to you for help. However, some may refuse help if their involved in a deep abusive relationship or home and they are scared to tell someone. As a caring adult, you may continue to reach out and force the issue of the student taking your help you offered in which you begin to involve yourself in a situation that may be dangerous or harmful to your reputation as a teacher which others may view that you are crossing the line of what your job description is.
ReplyDeleteI will examine how complex understanding the difference between helping and prying really is. Each word has it’s concrete definition but what we consider one or the other depends entirely on us. There are a lot of factors that contribute to our perception of things or situations and our experiences and how we are brought up play a major role. To determine what the difference between helping and prying is, you first have to understand that you cannot go in expecting simple results because the way people perceive a situation depends on many factors.
ReplyDeleteThree important factors to our perception of the world are, how we are brought up, our life experiences, and our mental state/vulnerability. For example, we can be brought up with really intrusive guardians which can make someone become a secretive person. Growing up with no privacy whatsoever can be very stressful and push someone to become really private and hostile when they see someone taking an interest in their things. The second possible factor is life experiences. Some people might have been in situations where their privacy has been breached and they are left feeling violated. The actions done by others made them feel a negative way so when put in similar situations they can expect the same outcome which can make some retaliate. When I say mental state, we have to take into consideration of things such as disorders and stress. Some disorders have symptoms of paranoia and conspiracy and stress can also cause that.
Because of all the contributing factors, one can say that the difference between helping and prying is subjective. Some students might see you as helping and others will see the same exact thing as prying. In the end, there is not much you can do but slowly get to know the students. Once you get a general understanding of their personality then you can get an idea if they will see you as helpful or intrusive. Some students will have a lot more boundaries than others and all you can do is respectfully let them know that you are there and that you have nothing but good intentions.
There’s a difference between prying and helping. Helping is when you try to reach out to a person who is in need in many different ways, while prying is being excessively close to someone’s personal life. In this case for a teacher, I personally think it’s okay for a teacher to be concerned and try to reach out to students, because sometimes we don’t feel okay to reach out, maybe because we could be scared to ask for help or think that someone doesn’t care about what’s going on, which in this case would be a teacher. I honestly think it’s great that teachers are putting in some interest to help out their students as long as it’s for the right reasons and that you’re respecting the other person's personal life and those who could be dealing with mental health issues.
ReplyDeleteI do not think anything but kindheartedness when a teacher wants to help their students. I always believed that was the main reason that a person wants to become a teacher. We do not know it at a time, but they are some of our greatest mentors. Teachers are the people that stay in our memories and help shape us into the people we are. You meet many people through adolescence, but you will always remember your favorite teachers name. I still remember sitting around Mrs. Johnsons feet while she rocked in a rocking chair and read to us. I also remember my computer teacher Mr. Olson who was the kindest man, and always made sure his class had a good laugh. One of the best things is getting close to someone who wants nothing more than for their students to succeed. I think that it is great that you care about your students. Everyone needs more people in their lives that care about their future.
ReplyDeleteHaving been a student for a good portion of my life, I can relate to the fact of needing help and not always being able to receive the help I needed. However I do have to agree with you on the fact that the job tittle of a professor has drastically changed. Prying and helping are clearly two different terms, but professors across all of my classes have shown me that they often times go above and beyond in trying to help out fellow students. Which leads me to ask, at which point does help become prying? Many of my professors often times take a good portion of class, if not an entire class, on explaining and informing students the help and aid that is available to them. Which also leads me to think, is this really their job? I do believe many teachers are in it to see their students succeed but at what point does it turn into prying into their students personal life to see if everything is okay? It is quite personal and often times if a professor offers aid, the student will go to their professor and think of them as a personal life counselor. I do appreciate everything teachers do for their students, but I also understand that they have busy lives and schedules. Which always makes me hesitant on asking for help with my teachers, unless it is academic related. I believe the school system should take this into consideration and possibly even create a career for people that are trying to help students succeed so the work load is not as intense for our teachers, that are already bending over backwards as it is. With that being said, I appreciate your post and hope you will one day be acknowledged by the school board on what an amazing job you and fellow professors are doing for the students in Houston Community College.
ReplyDeleteI think it is really kind for teachers to be on the lookout for their students’ needs although they cannot do a lot if their students do not allow them to. I believe there is a line between helping and prying it just depends on the student, the way they are, the way they think, and the type of circumstance they are in. I also believe that a teacher will always be helping unless they force their students to talk to them about their problems. A student will let you know when you are prying, they will just stop talking to you about their issues or just let you know to back off, or just tell you everything is resolved. Teachers/professors should get training on how to identify students who have needs and how to help them concerning the need they have. Although I understand colleges might want to do more for their students concerning their outside needs, they will never be able to be there 100 percent but, whatever percent they are in for, it is worth it.
ReplyDeleteFor students, it is important to note that the professor cares about them, which is not always the case since about half of them remembers at least one professor who has left the impression of completely losing interest in his work. Professors should established good relationships with students and who is doing his classes well. It is usually a rarity to find caring professor who is willing to help students. I remember reading a story about a high school student, who has immigrant parents, who needed help to pay for college application fees. Indeed, her parents did not have credit cards as they were really mefiant of banking institutions. They only carried cash hence could not pay the online college applications. Since the student was underage, she did not have any credit/debit cards under her name. Her english professor went out of his way to help the student paying for the student's college applications. Of course, the parents refunded the money to the teacher but it was really the act that made the difference. Students are also humans and can face hardship that will prevent them to have a good learning environment which can affect their grades. Having a caring professor can help them. They can become a role model to their students, having a positive impact in their lives.
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ReplyDeleteEffective education requires a professor-student collaboration for a successful outcome. Students need to maintain passing grades to graduate and professors need to maintain passing grades to demonstrate efficiency. Professors are trained to use a variety of teaching methods to engage students of different learning aptitudes in a subject matter. There are students that are simultaneously living difficult situations that are beyond a professor’s capability to help. In those cases, it is in the best interest of the student to seek help though the different support programs offered by their college or university.
ReplyDeleteThe role of the professor is to educate students about complex subjects. Professors use different teaching methods to engage with their students; they can be authoritarian, facilitators, demonstrators, or have a hybrid teaching style in an effort to fit all students’ natural learning abilities. But some students may be going though extenuating circumstances beyond the professor’s ability to help. Not all professors can offer emotional or physical support and they have discretion to help students when appropriate. But ultimately, the professor’s job is to teach a subject. Fortunately, most colleges and universities provide student counseling services and support groups for different student needs.
Houston Community College (“HCC”), offers online counselling services to help students with substance abuse, domestic/sexual violence, harassment and other emotional issues. HCC also partners with community organizations to provide opportunities, such as education and job placement to students and community members in need. These programs exist to support students that are struggling to achieve their education goals. Students can and must take full advantage of the services that HCC offers. This way, professors can focus their efforts on implementing more effective teaching methods that can benefit all students, including those that need the additional support from school services for a balanced collaboration and a successful outcome for all involved.
Getting involved in personal life's is complicated and an art. I think it's specially so when one is not necessarily approached. Having tact is important when deciding how, and when to approach this. Each person has their own way of dealing with things and being mindful of this can be of aide to help instead of pry.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of the semester I remember you mentioning that if we ever needed help with a safe place to sleep, or food scarcity, to come to you. None of my other professors have been voiced that support, and I think the way you presented was perfect. Saying that you are there to help all you have to is make you aware. Thank you for caring for your students.